you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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