I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize
