she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
