We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize