Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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