my vag is so smooth its legendary
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
