so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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