There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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