fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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