dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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