dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
