Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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