Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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