i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
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do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
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Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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