Dual....:-)
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
