How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
