How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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