Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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