Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I would fuck him just for his dog
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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