he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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