So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
My vagina just recognized that song.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
