hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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