i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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