I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
