our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Randomize
