Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
