it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
