I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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