After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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