Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
