Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
