Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize