Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You dont lie about slip and slides
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
