I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
