Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
