We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
