why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
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