Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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