I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Randomize
