i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
