I think I am morally bankrupt
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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