Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
