You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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