I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
