omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
