Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
