i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
