dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
