The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
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Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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