What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
