Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
