the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Someone shattered a urinal.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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