Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
