Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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