That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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