He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
