You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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