if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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