I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
