he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Boobs speak an international language.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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