If i come over, it means nothing
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
