Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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