his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize