what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
