We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
