No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
